I can't justify it.
As you've learned in the past, I'm currently studying to be an engineer, specifically Electronic. My college currently only provides APE's in Electrical. The difference between the two? Here's my version: Electrical Engineers are the engineers who can design huge substations and power grids for supporting large communities with electricity. They come up with new plans for generators, their possible outputs and maintenance. Electronic is much smaller. Like calculators, GPS tracking systems and electronic gadgets that fuel todays gadget addicted CIA, MI6 an KGB operatives. Fun stuff.
Why did I decide this? I don't know. I think I decided when a friend told me how much it's possible to make, or rather, his boss made doing this kind of stuff, but my friend himself isn't remotely close. Plus, it requires computers and a highly-detail oriented, inventive mind, which I have. So, why not?
Now, about 3 years into it and not even half way through a pre-engineering degree, I'm beginning to wonder if it's what I really want. Here's why:
I've been running out of stuff to do at work. So, in my moments of being idle, I've been dabbling with Photoshop. It might also be useful to know that I've always loved art: illustration, sculpture, painting ... you name it and I love it. Ever since I was 10 I've sketched, drawn, studied, watched and surrounded myself with all kinds of art. I've taken every possible art class offered in every possible school year I could and still maintain my minimum credits. All my electives have been art. So, when I'm idle, I naturally gravitate to it. It might also be of note to mention that my family has a history of artists.
So, I've been dabbling in photoshop and posted some stuff online, only about three pieces. But I see other stuff and think, wow ... I can do that. It's what I love, truely. In my heart of hearts, in the core of me, I find art. It beats with my life. But, I could never do it for a living. Because when you depend on it for survival, it no longer becomes fun. When you have to change yourself just so you can sell a piece and eat for a week, it changes everything. When someone pays you to do it, rather than pay you for what you've done, they become your art. You're freedom becomes bent, your vision becomes askew and it changes you. It's no longer your art.
I also think I would just be too afraid of starving to death.
So, I dabble. I make my own. But I'm tormented because I've always felt that, people create art as a form of expression. Like talking, to make others aware of you're presence. To incite emotion, the same emotion, you felt when you were making it, so that they could understand, and in doing so, relate to you, forming a connection. It's so breif and yet, so powerful, that they cannot help but fall in love with it, the connection. So, they buy the piece, and whenever they want to feel that again, all they have to do is open their eyes, and there it is.
I would surely starve.
But, I can't help but wonder, if being an Engineer is what I really want. If it's what I'm supposed to be doing to make my life complete.
Why did I decide this? I don't know. I think I decided when a friend told me how much it's possible to make, or rather, his boss made doing this kind of stuff, but my friend himself isn't remotely close. Plus, it requires computers and a highly-detail oriented, inventive mind, which I have. So, why not?
Now, about 3 years into it and not even half way through a pre-engineering degree, I'm beginning to wonder if it's what I really want. Here's why:
I've been running out of stuff to do at work. So, in my moments of being idle, I've been dabbling with Photoshop. It might also be useful to know that I've always loved art: illustration, sculpture, painting ... you name it and I love it. Ever since I was 10 I've sketched, drawn, studied, watched and surrounded myself with all kinds of art. I've taken every possible art class offered in every possible school year I could and still maintain my minimum credits. All my electives have been art. So, when I'm idle, I naturally gravitate to it. It might also be of note to mention that my family has a history of artists.
So, I've been dabbling in photoshop and posted some stuff online, only about three pieces. But I see other stuff and think, wow ... I can do that. It's what I love, truely. In my heart of hearts, in the core of me, I find art. It beats with my life. But, I could never do it for a living. Because when you depend on it for survival, it no longer becomes fun. When you have to change yourself just so you can sell a piece and eat for a week, it changes everything. When someone pays you to do it, rather than pay you for what you've done, they become your art. You're freedom becomes bent, your vision becomes askew and it changes you. It's no longer your art.
I also think I would just be too afraid of starving to death.
So, I dabble. I make my own. But I'm tormented because I've always felt that, people create art as a form of expression. Like talking, to make others aware of you're presence. To incite emotion, the same emotion, you felt when you were making it, so that they could understand, and in doing so, relate to you, forming a connection. It's so breif and yet, so powerful, that they cannot help but fall in love with it, the connection. So, they buy the piece, and whenever they want to feel that again, all they have to do is open their eyes, and there it is.
I would surely starve.
But, I can't help but wonder, if being an Engineer is what I really want. If it's what I'm supposed to be doing to make my life complete.
Labels: art, C.I.A. Operatives, creativity, Education, employment, inspiration
1 Criticisms:
Well, here's the question. If you were a millionaire, what would you do? That's how you know what your career goal should be. So, if you said you would travel, then maybe a travel agent would be a good choice for you. So, if you were a millionaire, what would you do?
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