Sundance 008'

It's back. Every year, for two weeks, actors, musicians, directors and other A-list celebrities grace us with their divine presence. For two weeks Hollywood moves to Park City, Utah, and for two weeks, parking is Hell on Earth.

It seems every other year, my friends and I pack a clown car and trudge it up the mountain to Park City. I don't suspect we'll be there this year but, then again who knows. We don't necessarily go there to catch the latest independent films before they make it big. Rather,we go on a celebrity watch. I guess, a hunt would fit the scenario but a "hunt" isn't really what we do. We go there with an intent to visit a posh club and hope to "bump" into someone we saw in a famous movie or on television, to see them out of their Hollywood element. We try to catch a glimpse of a celebrity walking the hilly streets, hoping to come in contact with someone "by chance."

I dream of "bumping" into Christina Aguilera or Christina Ricci or Christina Applegate (I think I like Christinas.) Then I'd apologize, realize who they are, but not get "starstruck". I'd then make small talk about the weather or a nice place to eat and she'd admire the respect and privacy I'd give her.

To thank me for not "freaking out." She'd invite me back to her condo for a small get together and a few drinks where, I would mingle with money and eat sushi off a naked Asian and dance with models of the "super" kind, each one noticing how my presence seems to belong there. And perhaps, just perhaps, catch the eye of a producer who thinks I have "the look" and casts me in a movie to become a star because ... I have "natural talent." That's how I see it going down anyway. Dreams of Grandeur. (Oh, no worries. I'll come back the next year and purposefully bump into an unsuspecting fan and invite them to a small get together ...)

Despite my delusions, this year Gary Gillmore (I guess he's a CEO or something) introduced the movies as "'new,' 'refreshing' and 'exciting,'" said the Deseret News website. He probably said this because the festival has a strong history of being rather dark. With depression and drama dwarfing the funnier and happier competitors.

But that doesn't mean much. The people from California will still be dressed in all black with turtlenecks, wearing black berets smoking their Clove cigarettes. When they speak it will be about how "artsy" and "real" a film was or how "horrifically disturbing and beautiful" that movies was, even though it doesn't make any sense to someone who has to stand in a freezing line and pay more money than it would usually cost in a regular theater to see it, but we listen and do it anyway.

It's like a second Christmas for Park City. Not the happy, merry and delightful Christmas that most people celebrate but the business side of Christmas that owners salivate about. Some restaurants are "flying in" special furniture, crystal glasses and real silver place settings to entice the millionaires to dine there. Some clubs will charge $100 or more just to pass through the door (they call it a door or cover charge, it's still Utah), then charge triple for the exact same watered down drink you buy any other time of year. It's a racket, and it's Utah. You don't get more than 1 oz. of liquor per drink unless it's a private party.

But despite it's awkward appeal, Sundance is still pretty cool. I mean it's Utah for fuck sake. This is the only time of year we can see a real life, flesh and bone celebrity. And who would pass up the chance to meet them, especially if her name is Christina.